Thank you for your kind words about the poem, Let’s Do Things Right, that I posted here last month.

Here’s another one called Big Sister!

As always, let me know what you think!

Big Sister!

Reality could never be more constructed,

Created, striated and too faceted!

Oh when will we wake up and smell the coffee-

Reality TV is icky, sticky toffee!

At first it’s sweet, a delight, a pleasure,

But as the story unfolds, it’s more than leisure.

Oddballs are laughed at-

They’re ridiculed for a kick;

The untalented are measured

On a very flimsy yardstick!

We devour and consume all this readily,

We judge, and point, and lose our minds steadily!

Some rubbish it and call it

‘What nonsense’, ‘what a waste of time!’

And yet we text our votes, spending dime after dime!

How has Big Brother become so big?

What if it were called ‘Big Sister’- or indeed, ‘Big Pig’?

Why are the helpless not given help?

Don’t we hear their cries when they yelp?

Oh when will we wake up and smell the coffee?

Reality TV is icky, sticky toffee!

Filed under: Expression, Poems By Sudakshina, Psychology, Social Cultures, Sudakshina's Opinions ]]> http://sudakshinakina.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/big-sister/feed/ 0 Kina http://sudakshinakina.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/2011-in-review/ http://sudakshinakina.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/2011-in-review/#comments Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:53:44 +0000 Sudakshina http://sudakshinakina.wordpress.com/?p=302 ]]> The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,000 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 17 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

So, thanks for your ongoing support and feedback and keep it coming, otherwise this blog won’t work without you. (Well, it would, but then if nobody reads my posts, excepting me, then I don’t see the point, d’ya know what I mean?! )

As I’ve said on my Facebook status recently, I haven’t written a poem for a long while now. So, for the next few months (depending on how much you like it, of course), I’ll be penning poems in my posts to a) shake things up a bit and change the pace and tone of my posts and b) I feel I need to kick-start the poetic flow again, simply because I feel like it!

So, keeping the New Year, our current socio-psychological modes and economic situations in mind, here’s the first in my series of blog-poems for you.

Let’s Do It Right (But Things Go Wrong!)

We put our Thinking Caps on

And try this and that

But with a few days gone

Things go splat.

We say to ourselves-

“Let’s Do Things Right”-

But things go wrong

And hence our flight!

Let’s Do Things Right

Let’s Do Things Right

We don’t want this Plight,

Let’s Do Things Right!

If perfection is just a dream,

Why do we bother? Why do we scream?

But if we don’t make an Effort,

What’s the Point? Where’s the Comfort?

So we say to ourselves-

“Let’s Do Things Right”-

But things go wrong

And we lose the Light!

Let’s Do Things Right

Let’s Do Things Right

We don’t want this Plight,

Let’s Do Things Right!

We’ve got Good Intentions

It’s just we need the Support

From your words and gestures,

Your smiles and thought.

As we say to ourselves-

“Let’s Do Things Right”-

But things go wrong

And we need your Sight!

Let’s Do Things Right

Let’s Do Things Right

We don’t want this Plight

Let’s Do Things Right!

On this note, I would like to wish you all Season’s Greetings and a wonderful 2012 ahead!

After a little thinking, my mind came up with the idea of basing this blog post on what it truly means to be at one with oneself- and what it means to be plain old lonely.

There is a  clear difference between the two, you see, but whether the difference is a huge one or  a fine-line is up to you.

Being at one with oneself is to be content when you are not in the presence of other human company or even the company of pet animals. You don’t mind the fact that nobody is around and you actually relish the peace and quiet. And yet, if someone or a group of people happened to come in, at any given moment, you wouldn’t mind that either and enjoy their company too.

However, being lonely means you are not content in the absence of favourable company and you feel lost even when you’re in a crowd of strangers. When you feel lonely even among a crowd of people you know and like though, that means there are more issues than just loneliness that needs to be identified and dealt with.

I hate being lonely and hate having to wallow in self-pity, while some secretly enjoy this, I don’t. I don’t mind being in a crowd of strangers or people who I get along with either, but all  this doesn’t mean I have not experienced feeling incomplete. Marriage and love filled in that hole in me, thankfully. It made me realise how important it is to have someone who know and cherish you for exactly what you are- warts and all! 

But here comes another dilemma, what is this feeling of missing your spouse when he is not with you and then craving for some peace and quiet when he is around?!

Does this sound familiar to you? Is it true then that we really can’t have our cake and eat it too? How does this affect the meaning of being at one with oneself then?

Your thoughts on this are much welcomed…

It’s also the month of your writer’s birth, hint hint, my blogworms.

It’s also been the month where I’ve sat my first French exams; yes I’ve been learning French  for the past couple of months, you see, so don’t be too surprised if you suddenly find me chipping in a word of Francais now and then.

This October has also been the month where I spent the first half on holiday with my husband and his side of my family, which has been interesting to say the least.

I’ve always been curious when it comes to meeting and interacting with people, old and new, doesn’t matter to me much. But what is said and left unsaid,when you’re in a throng of people who you know and don’t really know and then don’t know at all is something that fascinates me a lot!

We all know that cultures vary, so much so that they vary from city to city, but this variation also meanders into one locale to another and that’s something I’ve noticed on this holiday.

Societies and the people that make them can be generous and misleading at the same time; I’ve found some values criss-cross and inter-lace so much that I’m left confused. For example, if wearing a sari (that reveals the midriff) is respected, how come wearing a maxi dress (that covers everything) is frowned upon when worn in public?

I’m not being judgmental here, or maybe I am a tad, but are my observations ‘Western’ or simply matter-of-fact?

We have standards and then we have double standards and then we have some people who just want to enjoy their holiday!

And what is wrong with that, may I ask?

All these words may refer to the same sort of thing, but they are different, which is why they exist in the first place.

So, without trying to sound like I’m giving you a crash course in psychology, or something, let’s suffice it to say that:-

• Emotions occur internally, while feelings show themselves externally;
• Senses stem from our mental faculties, while nonsense although mental, does not stem from logic
• Sentiments are overt, while sensations are covert, and
• Musings can be both uplifting (hence the word ‘amuse’) and displeasing (hence, the word ‘bemuse’)

Alas, if the human psyche was so simple to comprehend and decipher.

But it ain’t!

Moreover, it won’t be, as we have the capability to think in complex, multiple levels in one go.

Let’s take myself as an example (well, this is my blog after all:))

I have spent my early childhood (i.e. 0-12 years) in London, UK, my teens (i.e. 13-18 years) in Kolkata/Calcutta, India, then most of my 20s (i.e. actually from age 19-27.5 years) in London again and have now spent the past few months being married and living in Kolkata, once again. You would think all this to-ing and fro-ing has given me enough material for me to go into Dickensian mode (although, maybe not as bleak and blasé as this revered writer was) and weave my own version of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’! To any publishers reading this blog, if you think this is a good idea for a book, pray contact me!

Well, asides aside, the way my life has panned out so far, it has shaped my own identity and outlook in culturally hybridised ways.

I am much a Londoner as I am a Calcuttan, yet I am more Indian by culture and British in person.

When I’m in London, I crave for Indian street-side snacks and when I’m in Kolkata, like now; my taste buds sometimes switch on for a plate of good ol’ fish and chips!

When I’m in Kolkata, I feel I’m not Bengali enough (i.e. laid-back-yet-conservative, submissive to the subliminal patriarchal social structure, etc.) and when I’m in London, I don’t feel as British (i.e overly-consumerist, less reverent to values like respect and tradition, hyper-sensitive to what people say, etc) enough either. 

I’m not confused though, nor am I miffed, because I have compartmentalised my sentiments, that form my identity, under neat and tidy ‘Sentiments for London’ and ‘Sentiments for Kolkata’ labels. I have accepted both cities as home, so whatever I feel or miss, like or loathe, it’s all home territory for me.

So, yes, I may be a Non-Resident Indian (NRI) living in Kolkata plus a UK resident and a British graduate. I fleet from London to Kolkata and vice versa, so isn’t it natural for me to go sentimental over these two cities? It’s not wrong, nor right. It’s just as it is.

What do you think?

How goes it in the world of when we say something and mean something else?

Or indeed vice versa, i.e. in the world of when we mean something but say something else?

Don’t you just hate it?

Doesn’t it just get to you sometimes?

Well, it certainly does to me and there are times when I do flip out on this.

I know this happens to everyone, i.e. we either commit to this social sin subconsciously, or consciously- or else we’re at the butt end of it.

I also know that taking such a social sin too seriously won’t do me much good.

I even know that patience is a virtue that we should have and maintain.

But…. (yes, you know there’s a punchline…or three coming up now)

I don’t understand why some people just don’t think! 

They don’t think before they speak

They don’t think before they behave.

They don’t think before about what could happen afterwards.

We have a brain and a mind, that’s what stands us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom, right?

So why don’t we use it?!

Of course, various cultures and societies dictate the way we should live and behave and unfortunately, some of this diktat is limited, skewed and screwed.

This finicky basis is the cause for much grief, literally. If we thought through what we say and do a bit, we’d get a lot more productivity- minus this grief.

And if you’re thinking about what brought this rant on (and not focusing on what I am ranting on, tsk tsk…) just take a look around you and the society you mix in and you might just find examples of what I am ranting about.

Let me know if you do…I’d love to explore this more with you.

So, for a welcome change, I’ll make this month’s post (and yes, the astute among you would have noticed that I blog on a monthly basis), be about my observations on the levels of depth we humans have and how these levels vary.

What do we mean by ‘depth’ anyway? 

Is it common sense? Is it knowledge and wisdom? Is it the airs we hold or don’t hold? Is it a spiritual sense of grounding that’s usually reflected through the ‘windows of our souls’- the eyes?

It could be any of these, all of these, or even none of these, depending on your perspective on depth.

For me, it’s the third option, i.e. depth is a spiritual sense of grounding that’s usually reflected through our eyes, which are known as ‘windows of the soul’ because you can gauge heaps about a person by simply noting how they look at you, do they look at you, do they flicker, wink and blink, or are they set and steady.

But what do I mean by this?

Well, let’s start on a simple level here. By ‘grounding’ I’m thinking of focus, concentration, diligence, attention. Giving too much focus on something strains you out of depth as you’ve thought so much about something, you can’t think anymore and therefore lost your depth due to the too much effort you’ve put in before.

Let’s look at depth from a converse angle. I mean, we know when we’re out of our depths when we identify glitches/errors/gaps in our thinking. Usually after this identification comes a shrug of the shoulders, or a little shaking of the head, or if you’re of the dramatic sort, then a hit on the forehead, a la Bollywood style.

So if being out of depth is being any of the aforementioned, what does being in our depths entail and involve? 

Well, from a logical standpoint, it could mean thinking along the lines of A>B>C and C>B>A, tracing the meaning, the sense of how A is greater/lesser than B and so on.

From a physical perspective, it could mean how much can you take on at one given point of time and get all these things done correctly and on time.

From a psychological premise, it could mean how much information/emotion/stress/social judgement can your mind process in a given time period and how does this affect you and your psyche.

Finally, from a philosophical/spiritual plane, how deep can you go within yourself to find out who ‘you’ are, i.e what makes up your inner and outer personalities that combine to make who you are as an individual, as a member of your society and as a organism of atoms in the grand scheme of things.

Okay, I’ll admit all this is quite deep turf. So I’ll end this post on a lighter note: my whole point of writing this post is to simply convey, if we don’t keep tabs on when we’re in or out of our depths, when will the stupid, baseless probing/questioning stop? !

Ciao for now!

If so, how strongly? If not, what does this suggest?

This may be mere academic hyperbole, as not all reality TV shows are dumbed down and indeed most countries which have a strong media dynamism, broadcast reality TV shows anyway.

India is no exception to this phenomenon, obviously.

In fact, its media head honchos have gone on to experiment with established reality shows aired in the West.

For instance, what we know as Big Brother in Britain, is called Big Boss in India and the disciplinary standards set in the Indian show have been notched up big time, conforming with the cultural norms that are upheld in and by Indian society.

Otherwise, the Indian audiences would simply not watch it!

Interestingly though, the contestants (mostly starlets with newly-acquired or semi celeb statuses) are only seen to take part in Big Boss. You won’t see the likes of Shilpa Shetty and Co on it.

While in Britain, The X Factor, which is infamous for it’s tabloid-style and oh-so-cringe-worthy standards of talent, attracts front-page headlines everyday as the show is aired on the British small screen.

This programme is going to hit Indian airwaves in May end, but judging by the promos, the contestants do have some talent and the judges are leading singers and connoisseurs of Indian highbrow culture.

What I’ve also noticed in the spate of reality TV shows, across the Indian cable TV network, is that successful, talented contestants are respected and even overly-goaded to do better, with the bars of challenges raised higher and higher. Those who are not successful are only shunned out if their behaviour is abominable, or heaven forbid, ungracious!

Otherwise, the rejects are bid farewell with hearty goodwill displayed and these scenes are dutifully replayed a few times (with sepia effect and supposedly tear-inducing background music cued in) before the show moves(read: crawls on).

I think Indian reality TV shows are regarded as a cultural outlet, while their British counterparts are produced keeping commercial viability exclusively in mind; thereby strategizing and showing whatever it takes for the viewers to shed their cash by texting or calling in their votes.

I’ve honestly never watched The X Factor in the UK, but I am going to give the Indian version a go. Why? Well, because if nothing else, popular mass media should be able to inspire audiences to aspire to do something better, right?

In my previous post, I had told you that I was engaged to be married, didn’t I?

Well, since then, I took the plunge and tied the knot, as the pic here shows you.

To make this marriage happen, I have had to shift countries, (i.e. move from London, UK, to Kolkata, India), accustom and accomodate with my extended family (both on my side as well as my beau’s) and even dabble in some domestic activity (e.g. making cups of tea using a gas cooker, tidying up clothes my hubby leaves lying around [cue for rolling eyeballs welcome] and keeping tabs on my sweet domestic helpers who take care of the lion’s share of housework.

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

In my mind, I’d believed that a marriage is a communion of two hearts, minds and souls.

Et c’est vraiment, so it is!

But. it’s not just about le deux here though…it’s more than that.

Much more than that, might I add.

To make a marriage truly work,  one has to be prepared for several reality bites:-

1. Once espoused, you are never completely an individual anymore, i.e. you’ve got to always bear in mind that the buck does not always stop with you alone in some spheres of your life, if not all.

2. Your spouse can demand from you your attention, affection and affirmation  any time he/she feels like, because a) he/she has the legal/social/religious rights to and b) although this can seem like intrusion, this positive source of support does wonders to your psychological make-up.

3. Your parents and in-laws will take their own sweet time in adjusting to the fact that their children are no longer singular beings belonging exclusively to them. Yes, this can deplete your reserves of patience and understanding, which is why you’ll need bucket-loads of these so that any hissy-fits occur are within areas of reason and therefore diffusable.  This might seem like balderdash to some of you, but being patient and understanding with both sets of parents can bring about double amounts of affection and support to you.  It is do-able, says yours truly, a woman who gets easily flustered all the time!

4. Marriage does indeed change You. Keeping close tabs between the way you and your spouse are feeling, via long, digressive, chummy-like dialogues enrichens your emotional intelligence and softens up that initial rawness in your passionate, ahem, lovemaking too.

All this makes you glow from the inside as well as the outside, ya know.

So, cheers to Marriage and to those who believe and respect this intriguing institution!